A German teenager flew to Red Square yesterday, after being told not to by his mother. Hans Jurgen, 16 from Dusseldorf, taught himself how to fly purely out of spite. The German Army is interested in harnessing this spite induced flight for military applications, but are struggling in making test subjects spiteful. So far, in order to induce spite, the test subjects have been called: nob jockeys, turd burglars, fag muffins, rebellious hornblowers, pube flossers, ass clowns and Daily Mail readers. The last insult did show signs of working.
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